Dreams

I always think....
If I'm a people who's going to die...
Any dream that I still keeping?
Before that I never think about it...
Cause I'm have no dream...
I feel so disappointed with this world, this life...
I hope that I can leave this world without any suffer...
But now... I have a dream...
I dreams I can have a house...
A small small world for only me...
And I have draw a plan for it...
It look nice... And comfort... 
I wish one day I can achieve it...
But I know... Still far far away...
All just because of money...
One day...
One day, it be come true...
I BELIEVE... 

Go Green _ Love Green

Today I saw a very nice picture...

Will keep it and display here~~~ ^^

女人与玻璃球

女人心。就像一颗玻璃球
它是玻璃。因为它纯洁而透明
它是圆的。因为它是圆滑而无邪与快乐

当女人孤独时，
这玻璃球像是一座冰山，像是没有任何人能够溶化它
因为女人想保护自己而不想受到伤害

当女人谈恋爱时，
这玻璃球就像会发出光芒般的闪耀
因为女人有了期待和希望

当女人失望时，
这玻璃球就像开始出现裂痕似的
因为事实并不像女人所期待的

当女人绝望时，
这玻璃球就像摔到地上般，破裂了。。。
因为女人被事实唤醒了。。。所有的期待与希望到头来只是梦一场。。。

当女人要振作起来时，
这些玻璃碎将会被几集在一起，但它不再是个透明而圆滑的玻璃球，它将是一颗充满刺的一颗玻璃。。。
因为女人将会更加保护自己，不让自己再受到任何的伤害

这就是女人。。。 。。。

沉思

忙忙碌碌的日子。。。 每天都在过。。。

累了。。。想好好的休息。。。

可是怎样才是 “好好的休息“？

不知道。。。

于是。。。

我静了下来。。。

心也静下来。。。

耳朵也只听到自己的心跳。。。

这种静。。。

是让身体放松了。。。

可是心灵深处的痛，却慢慢的被唤起。。。

不知不觉。。。悲伤竟慢慢的酝酿起来。。。

眼泪在眼眶不停的徘徊。。。

虽然伤感了起来。。。眼泪最终也流了下来。。。

可是。。。 我依然继续。。。 继续的回忆。。。

我并不是在折磨我自己。。。

而是为了证明你曾经在我生命里出现过。。。

想念的心再次唤起。。。

那种痛，正是你存在过的最好证明。。。

不要为我流泪而难过。。。

因为我情愿伤心流泪。。。 也不愿意忘记你。。。

希望在天国的你。。。 过得快乐。。。

下一世。。。 我们会在见面。。。

我们约定好哦。。。

12 Oct 2010

Today have meet a new boy...
quite funny...
His age 20, but photo looks like 30, after he open web cam look 20...
He is a good guy...
even is young then me... but the way he talk just like a adult...
not bad... a Australian...
very straight men...
wont force people...

Good Day
Good night...

信任

人与人之间... 什么是最重要的?
是什么东西让人产生关系...?

我想了想... 在这几分钟...
我想到的是信任...
是信任把人和人连在一起的...
无论是亲人, 朋友, 同事,伴侣....
没有了信任...
人与人之间是无法产生良好的互动...

信任, 可以让人感觉安全舒服...
不管是被信任还是信任别人...
那种感觉真的是很棒的...

可是,当信任不在时...
就是背叛的开始...
那种痛,是可以入心入骨...

甚至有些人承受不了那种痛...
宁可结束生命,也没有勇气面对...
失望. 的确很可怕...
它让人痛苦...

可是, 人的思维的确很伟大...
因为, 只要换个想法就会让一个生命继续下去...
如果不行... 就只能让人遗憾一生...

尽管如此, 背叛的确是很不好的行为...
它让人活在恐惧...
让人不再轻易相信别人...
不停想在付出真心前测试别人...

就... 有如... 我...

思念 • 遗憾

昨晚, 我梦见了你...
摇着短短的尾巴迎接我...
你那天真无邪的脸庞...
... ...

我在你身边坐下...
你却走到我怀里...
坐在我前面... 却背对着我...
看着你那熟悉的背影... 好有安全感... 好宁静...
... ...

你突然往上看...
舔了我一下...
如此熟悉的动作... 久违了...
... ...

突然醒来...
才发觉...
你已经离开我17天了...
这些日子我不断对自己说...
在某个地方...
你自由自在快乐的过着...
... ...

可是...
这场梦...
我希望我不会醒来...
因为...
有你...
在现实里...
这里没有你...
我很辛苦...
空虚...
很想念你...
... ...

在梦醒的杀那...
我的心...
空了...
眼泪直流...
停不住了...
心里的呐喊到了极限...
... ...

八年了...
要怎么忘?
要怎么习惯?
... ...

我不知道...
可是...
我希望你是快乐的...
就像每次看到我们回家时的表情...
再摇着你那可爱的小尾巴...
... ...

Dydy...
可以的话...
我希望你回来...
我会等...
就像你等我们回家那样...
永远的等着...
... ...

宝贝Dydy,
安息吧... ...
Love you...

02 October 2010

Today is a crazy day,

I sleep around 3a.m. and is a good dream...
5a.m. I have wake up because of my mom, but my eye still close... after I open my bedroom's door, I continue my dreams~~~ only 5:30a.m. I really wake up and take bath... When I start make up... i feel like stomachache but then i didn't care it and didn't go for toilet... heheh... When the time around 6a.m. my mum start urge, I quickly wear my shoe and go out standby in front house... cause due to our car can only fetch 5 people, so me and mum will sit aunt Girl's car... and due to timing problem, mum ask Jet to go first cause Aunt Girl's husband always speed up, so should be no problem (our flight is 8:45)and my mom has close the electric gate... but then suddenly I feel my stomach really pain... and something is coming out, I try to get the gate control buy fail, my mom and me just have house key without gate control... so the only way is I control my stomach lol... haiz... we have wait for so long and my uncle still didn't come to my house, after half an hour only they arrive, lucky my stomach feel more better, so I keep control until we arrive airport, I try to look a chance to toilet but fail... cause when that time my mum ask better check-in first... so I just be good and listen to her... when the time we waiting mum to check-in, she keep asking me to looking for my brother and sister to ask them come to check-in so... so I still no have chance to toilet... and I can feel it being painful... after a while... finally they are here, so I quickly to out searching the toilet but suddenly I heard that a last announcement for our flight... I quickly run to my mum and shout out the news to her... 11 people...RUN... to the gate 13 and go inside the aeroplane... so i still cant get my toilet... Lucky I still can control until we arrived KLCC... safe and go to toilet... hahah...
This is my morning story about me and toilet...

After we arrived KLCC, we take Marry Browe as or breakfast, chicken porriage and fried chicken with ice milo... how a good break... so after we take breakfast, we take bust to KL central... den from KL Central we go to mid velly... is a nice experime... so, hole day I have stay in Mid Velly... walk for hole day, until now I still can feel that my leg likes not mine...

Look Back

Just now I have read back my all blog...
The sad thing is... I still keep asking god to bless me...
But the happy thing is I know I more mature now...
I can compare myself in 2010... Now I more know in how to control my attitude and the way I thinking is more mature and different... This should be a good news...

But the worst thing is... I;m more down... being low power... I have no energy to motivation myself... after I look back my blog... the found and realize is... Me... Now... I'm not happy... I've no dreams in my everyday... I just like customary all the thing... Including my life... My heart just like "JUST ACCEPT"

Can't believe... Just 3 years...

Now... I'm jealous... I jealous me when I in 2007...

God, thanks for your blessing... I hope that one day I can found my dreams and my soul... Thanks...

寂寞

寂寞。莫过于在一群人群中一个人默默的呆着

寂寞。莫过于失去一个真心朋友

寂寞。莫过于在一个办公室里只有自己在认真的工作

寂寞。莫过于被曾经是共患难的朋友排斥

寂寞。莫过于被人误解却无法解释的无奈

寂寞。莫过于被自己的家人认为是个难相处的人

寂寞。莫过于被家人认为自己不如一个外人

寂寞。莫过于看着别人的家庭嘻嘻哈哈的欢笑，自己却没有

寂寞。莫过于自己的无能被认为是自私

寂寞。莫过于自己的母亲向外人投诉孩子的缺点

寂寞。莫过于想实现自己的梦想却得不到家人的支持

寂寞。莫过于接受了别人的赞赏却被家人嫌弃

寂寞。莫过于有过人的天分，却没有人看得见

寂寞。莫过于在一间大房子里却只听到自己的呼吸

寂寞。莫过于家人都健在却怎么聚都无法聚在一起

寂寞。莫过于家里的胡闹声里找不到自己的声音

寂寞。莫过于病了却得不到任何的关心

寂寞。莫过于在伤心时得不到任何的安慰

寂寞。莫过于在人群中以为找到了知己，却发现原来在被人利用着

寂寞。莫过于满怀希望后，到头来却是一场空。。。 。。。

Today is 20 sept 2010, he has left us 2 days ago... I so miss him... Without him... I feel I have lose something... Everytime I have saw him every where... If I called him, he will run to me as fast as he can.... How lovely he are....
But now... I don't know what should I do.... I know... I should more take care of DoDo... I cant lose her... I need to keep Dodo in healthy ... I must... I know I cant lose anymore...
Dydy... You have done good in your part... So I wish and I hope you can rest in peace... Now I know you will stay with god... one day, I'll see you again... We will...

Love you... ...

好烦~~~

烦啊~~~
也不懂为何这么烦？！
头也很痛！
肚子也不懂为什么不舒服！
今天就是整身不对劲！！
喉咙也有点不舒服！
颈项也酸痛！！
天啊！！！
更槽糕的是眼睛！酸痛啊！！！
想吐！！！
看来我还真是问题人物！！
看医生， 医生老是文不对题！
明明就很他说明头很不舒服，却老是给我胃痛的药！！
好想回家躺着！！！
好困哦~~~

Speechless

I still remember that Lady Gaga have a song names Speechless...
Today I need to stay OT, cause is Thursday and is my turn to stay... Is boring and sad... I have no mood to do anything... Maybe something is effect me!!! I feel sad... Just like I'm lost myself... I don't know what I'm going to do... But I know somethings wrong, just like this afternoon, there was a customer walk- in, is a uncle, he bring a statement to me and two copy of newspaper... The fund that he have invest is China Select fund, but unfortunately the performance is terrible, and due to the fund is high risk type, he have lose around RM13++ maybe for certain ppl will think that was a small amount, but for him, he can't accept at all, he said that if he know that will be lose, why not he just put the money into FD?! I have try to explain everything, but he not listen at all, he just live in his world... He just believe what he think... He bring the newspaper is the advertisement of Our company.... There was some award and a list of our good performance fund name list... He ask that is that company take the fundholder money put into others fund for push the performance... I try to give him some general knowledge... But he just like close his ear... And he want to see the manager... That time, I have think that, should I call the the servicing agent? Instead of ask the manager come to the counter... ? I have pick up the phone and start dial the first three number... And I stop... Because I know some of agent they have no responsibility at all... If I call them, they maybe will challenge the customer and makes the customer more angry... So I put down the phone, and walk to my manager... After I tell her about the story, she said she will help me to explain to customer... And she did... But the thing is, after my boss she came out to the counter, and everytime that she try to explain, the customer was try to argue with her and ask my boss give back the money to him.. What he means is full amount that he have invest... How can it be? He just like lost control, finally my boss ask me to help the customer make the redeemsion due to the customer request too...

I dunno how to say and how to do... Have do the correct decision? That's no answer... Only the time I'm doing the appraisal will know...

What I know is my preformance is just like a nut!!!!

Hope that's not so bad like my imagine...
Hope that my boss can more look for my strength...
I hope soooooo...

果然。。。 还是无法笑出来

心情很沉重，有想要好好的哭一场。。。
也许她们是对的！我是很情绪化！
可是，如果可以，我也不想活在痛苦之中！！
我也想每天都是愉快的开始。。。给每人一个真心的笑容。。。
可是，＂心＂真的很累！！
有时候，甚至每吸一口气都感到很吃力。。。
我不再要求任何人了解我或明白我！可是明知道我正烦恼着，却还故意挑衅我！
这是做为为一个朋友或伙伴该做的事吗？
真是欲哭无泪。。。

Just like a fool

Yesterday night I have some ague with my younger sister, the fuse is because she have promise something to me but she never do it...

Yesterday, when I was in office, I have look into the mirror, on my face i can see some small yellow dot start grow on my face... So I quickie SMS my younger sister cause she was a beautician even though she not yet graduate but soon. After I SMS her, she told me go back home, she will help me use ultra sound for reduce the yellow dot... So after I going home she was not at home and I waiting her until 10 pm. When she come back she totally forgot that she have promise something to me... So I just go to downstairs and remind her, only I reliaze her boyfriend was with her. I just feel not happy!!!! But anyway, I have ask her borrow me the ingredient and the manual, maybe I can learn by myself... Unfortunate, the product is Mqde in china, so the manual wasn't in detail... I have try to read for several time but it make me confuse... Finally I was give up... I put all the thing together in one place and go down stair to ask my sister keep back all the thing jut because I reqly no idea how and where she always keep the product... But she have show me her black face!!! Run to upstairs like a King Kong!!! Feel so sully... After that I receive a SMS from her... I think she is try to fire with me thru SMS...

I'm her sister... But I seriously feel that she is not respect to me... Never make true her promise is the first... Show face to me is the second!!! She make me so sad... I cry for a night until now I still feel my eye painful... Is that my false? Is that I shouldn't force her to do what she have promise... When we start ague... She keep telling our parent she never promise me anything!!!! This the she treat me as her sister?

This time I really feel so disappointed with her!!!

At night I just crying crying and crying... Suddenly I receive a SMS from my colleague, told that she is sad and angry cause her husband scold her because of food... I have no mood to listen her to complain... But I try to.... I know when someone feel down... They need a listener... A good listener to support her... I didn't have but I wish my friend won't feel lonely when they was down... So I reply her with support... But in the sametime I told her about my problem also... Unfortunate is she like not aware... So I stop to tell her about my problem...

The next day, that means is this morning, I saw her and she come to my table and show me her BOOTY... but I had no mood to give common... I'm still feel sad until now... So I tell her what I face last night... But she just like deaf! Keep talking about her booty...

Really feel sad... I'm just like a fool!!!! I'm like nothing!!!! Nobody care about me!!!! Nobody respect me!!! What for life? Why to live?

Yes ~~~ IPhone 3Gs

Yesterday my aunt said that she want to sell her IPhone 3Gs, she just bought it 1 to 2 month ago... And I have check the IPhone, it totaly is new... I can't believe it... She bought it that time around RM 2K, but then now she sell in RM1200!!! make me too excited!!! N she said I can make installment, every month I just pay her RM200, so after 6 month the IPhone is fully belong to me~~~~ Lucky my lovely mom support me, if not I think I won't get it without her support~~ thanks mom... Love u so~~~ much

I think I'm going to make a shirt to my cute IPhone, hmmm need to start design now....

Yes... Finally, I get it~~~ Happy~~

17 June 2010

Har... So long didn't blogging already...
miss this feeling...
Today I have bring laptop to office, can online hole day~~~ (^.^)
but actually quite boring loh~~~

This saturday I have a dinner at Sunway Carnival...
that's a wedding dinner, but until now, I still have no idea about what I'm going to wear!!!
Wee Nie is suggest me to wear a brown dress at that night... but the thing is I feel that dress like a shopping wear... It may will make the newlyweds feel like I'm not respect them... ...

Haiz... Make me headache...

Anyway, I am quite looking forward to that wedding dinner...